Wednesday, 31 October 2018


Happiness: The quality or state of being happy.

What does the word happy mean to you? This is something that I have been thinking about and reading into a lot lately.  
Have you ever just felt flat and lacking in extreme emotion? Not sad, or down but not really happy either. I have come to the realisation that this is possibly just our standard default state of mind. 

I found myself recently wondering why life isn't always exciting and craving a life where everyday is a happy one, filled with adventures. However why am I sad that I don't have a life that simply doesn't exist?

It's true that if we didn't have the down times, then we wouldn't appreciate the happy times. If life was just one colour all the time, then it would equally just feel as flat. But how can we work towards a life filled with more happiness....more ups than downs and less of the flat times?

From my research and own experiences I think that nothing but our own frame of mind can do this. As frustrating as this is, nothing external can truly help. Of course, you can get a surge of comfort from treating yourself to that new bag or eating some much needed chocolate, however long term this just doesn't suffice. 

There is a lot written about mindfulness at the moment, and meditation seems to have become pretty trendy. But this technique that has been around forever, really should have a place in everyones life, in whatever form suits you. It doesn't have to mean sitting cross-legged and chanting, but just having a few moments throughout the day where you allow your mind to wander and appreciate small moments does wonders for your mental and physical health.

From taking a walk and really looking around and noticing the flowers, listening to the birds and breathing in the fresh air, or snuggling under a blanket with a new book and finally lighting your expensive candle. Take note of your surroundings....when in a taxi or on a train look out of the window and admire life, or maybe chat to someone new.
These small details are what will truly make you feel alive and happy. 

I remember watching a documentary about Rio Ferdinand and his journey through grief after losing his wife to cancer. The whole programme was incredibly moving, but there was something in particular that I took away from it. After struggling to get his children to talk about their feelings, he discovered an activity that could help. They sat down and wrote their favourite memories of their mum together and put them all into a jar. This could be the smallest of details, from a colour, to a favourite song, but whenever they were sad in the future, they could go back through these and smile.
This is something that I loved and will start doing myself for my mum I think. But this shouldn't have to be just for someone that you have lost.

Why don't we all try to write down little moments that we love each day, to remember and look back on. 
The process will surely help to have our eyes fully open and notice the happiness in each day, which can often be forgotten and un-noticed because of the hustle and bustle of everyday life and chores. 
Or instead of writing them down, just taking a moment whilst removing your makeup or taking your bath, to think through what has made you smile today and why.

Life sadly isn't always a party or an adventure, but it is filled with little moments of joy, that can make you feel happy every day when you take the time to notice them. 
Let's try not to strive for perfect (perfect only exists on Instagram), and be grateful for being alive and what we have right now. 

Use all of your senses and breathe in each moment so that it can be locked away as a memory. I'm sure that this way we would realise that in fact there are more ups than downs.
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